Scientists Discover Cuteness a Terrible Disease

My brother got a dog. His name is Divisadero Baumberg... my brother, not the dog. The dog is named Jack. My brother thinks this mutt is cute. I think cuteness may not be all it's cracked up to... uh... be. Could it be that cute things infect us with their lameness? Making us soft? Like custard?


Now clearly the cuteness hasn't "infected" my brother in the traditional sense. Which is to say, he has not increased in cuteness in any measurable way. What you see is all stock from the manufacturer.


But he has certainly become more lame, as is evident in the email he sent me with 900 pictures of him getting cutilated by this wee mutt. Am I wrong? Or do dogs like this only further blur the line between best friend and suspect Chinese takeout?